The #1 Belief Holding You Back

After watching so many inspiring videos on the How To Live A Life Without Limits Video Summit I began to hear a similar message over and over – it wasn’t always spelled out but it was there – and this message has led me to believe that the

#1 belief holding women back is: the idea that we have to do it all and be it all. 

This energy-zapping, soul-shrinking, super unhealthy concept that we have to do it all and be it all is causing us stress, anxiety, and frustration while creating barriers to joy, success, fulfillment and well-being.

Seriously, think about your day for a minute – how many times did you tell someone, “I got it.” or “No, no, it’s better if I do it.” or “I can do it quicker.” It gets to the point where you don’t even think about it – you just immediately take it on. I’m sure this also goes hand in hand with the need to be perfect, constant comparison, the busy-trap, and the overwhelming idea of “having it all”.

Well, this is one woman that is done being held back and is ready to change her mindset. I know it won’t necessarily be easy (I mean, we are changing a belief that I’ve held onto for so long, and that society encourages) but it makes sense ::

Being unapologetically me + letting go of control + re-assesing what’s on my plate creates

Room for creativity, nourishment, empowerment, possibility

Being Unapologetically Me means re-connecting with your genuine, authentic self and honoring who you really are. It’s more than just giving up “sorry”, it’s about embracing your true self :: your gifts, talents, and strengths. It’s about understanding that you can’t be everything to everyone, and most of all, it’s more than okay to admit that you’re not perfect, that you can’t (and don’t want to) handle it all.

Example :: Your a writer that needs a website, so you think you can do it all yourself, but you quickly realize that you are not a designer or developer. At this point: STOP. Look for help. Hire an awesome designer and developer to make you a kick-ass site, which frees up your time to start working on your next novel (true story – happened to me actually – check out www.ErinMadore.com to see the final product).

Bottom line ::: By finding your niche, and asking for help you will create time and space for your talents and true self to shine.

Letting Go of Control is about releasing yourself and others of expectations, schedules, to do lists, daily planners, obligations… I know, crazy right?! But it’s true. We hold onto these things because we know what to expect. Letting the day “get away from you” or taking a detour is scary because you’re facing the unknown; but when you let go of control you breathe easier, you live more in the moment, you’re more open to change. Letting go of control simply creates space to grow.

Example :: It’s Monday morning and your to-do list is a mile long. You’re determined to plow through. But then your nanny calls out sick, so you start feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Rather than holding onto what you thought the day would be, take the sick nanny as a sign from the universe that today would be a great day to play with your kids, go on an adventure, be spontaneous.

Bottom Line ::: Giving up control frees you from fear, insecurity, and guilt, and allows you to live more mindfully so you can embrace change and possibility.

Re-assesing What’s on Your Plate is a big one, but don’t start there. First, figure out what makes you sparkle. What makes you feel engaged, empowered, excited. What you’re really good at. Then look at your “plate” and really re-assess everything on there that doesn’t make you shine. Don’t stop there though. Instead of filling in the empty spaces with more stuff, block of that time for self-nourishment, self-care, self-love.

Example :: You’re an incredible painter yet you signed up to volunteer every week at your son’s PTA as secretary, which leaves you feeling drained and frustrated. Why not swap it – give up the secretary job to someone who likes it (btw, my Mom was a rock-star PTA secretary) and volunteer in the art department? Or, share the responsibility with someone else?

Bottom Line ::: When you have TOO much on your plate you’re going to be drained and not have the time, energy or ability to focus on what lights you up!

What do you think? Do you find yourself trying to do everything and be everything? How does it make you feel? I’d love to connect with you in the comments below. 

Erin Madore

Erin Madore is known for her radiant energy, bright smile and willingness to get real. After moving past her own barriers to happiness she knew that she could help other women though the same mindful yet bold approach she used to create a joyful, engaging life.  

As a writer, life coach and wellness warrior Erin is dedicated to empowering and inspiring women through her writing, e-books, workshops and one-on-one sessions. Dedicated to helping people find clarity, direction and confidence Erin loves connecting with people on their journey to blissful well-being and happiness. She lives by the Helen Keller’s quote, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” and encourages all of us to embrace all of life, every day.

Connect with her at Creative Soul in MotionErinMadore.com, through Twitter, and Facebook

5 replies
  1. Louise
    Louise says:

    Why are we so scared to just be ourselves, as you say unapologetically?! Well, one reason I’m sure is to be perfect, which sometimes is another way of not appreciating & loving ourselves. Thanks for the reminder 🙂

    Reply

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