Before you can even begin to put the Relate back into any of your relationships, you must first be able to relate to yourself. You can’t even begin to be connected with anybody else effectively if there is a disconnect with yourself. You must be connected to yourself!
Since we go to relationships to give and share, it is so important to embrace who you really are. By understanding the person that you are, it enables you to be able to give and share yourself with others. You won’t only be growing yourself, but your relationships as well!
Tips To Put The RELATE Back Into Your Relationships:
If your loved one says or does something that raises an eyebrow, before you jump all over them ask yourself, “What else could this mean?” Then attach a couple of positive meanings to it.
If your teenager isn’t home by there curfew, don’t assume that they just don’t care and they are just staying out and having fun, nor do you want to focus on the worse, that maybe they were in an accident. Instead, think of other positive things that might have happen. If they happen to call to say that something delayed them beyond their control, don’t lay into them. Instead, thank them for calling and tell them to keep in touch with you if there is more of a delay.
By reacting in this way, they will feel comfortable to call you in the future if it were to happen again. If you choose, to react differently and continually do so, then eventually they won’t want to try and relate to you in any way. Most of the time, when someone says or does something, it doesn’t have anything to do with us.
When you want or need something from those you are in a relationship with, be very clear and specific. If you are telling your dear friend something that you don’t want them to share, be very clear in telling them before you tell them whatever it is, “I want to share something that is very personal and I would appreciate it if you didn’t share this with anybody.”
This way, there is no gray area as to whether they should share what you said or not. If you need your partner to do a favor for you, try saying, “Honey it would mean the world to me, if you could do this for me. I realize you, too are very busy but I have this deadline to meet and I really need your help.” What you don’t want to do is say, “I need you to do this!”
Also, if you have a disagreement with someone, instead of saying, “You are wrong” why not try, “I feel differently.”
The response will be so much more positive!
How we communicate is so vital in how we relate to each other.When someone is talking to you, make sure to look at them in the eyes and give them your undivided attention. Don’t assume what they are saying. If you aren’t sure of what they are trying to say, wait until they are finished and then gently ask them to expound on whatever part of their conversation that you aren’t clear on.
Sometimes, our partner, children and friends need to just vent or just feel like they are being heard, that they feel validated! It’s not always necessary to give your thoughts unless they ask for them.
Give and Share:
We go to relationships to give and share. The more that you can do this, it helps the other person in your relationship usually want to do the same for you. The more giving and sharing by both people in a relationship, the more it grows. The more you can do this with your children, you are setting a great example for them to model.
Another thing to share with your children is if you did something wrong to let them know, don’t make excuses, just apologize to them. Sharing with them that you are not perfect is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children. Otherwise, if they grow up with you never admitting this, they too could end up being one of those adults who can’t apologize as well as thinking that they always have to be perfect. You won’t look weak to them, and they’ll grow up strong as a result of you doing so.
When someone is talking to you, make sure to look at them in the eyes and give them your undivided attention.
Don’t assume what they are saying. If you aren’t sure of what they are trying to say, wait until they are finished and then gently ask them to expound on whatever part of their conversation that you aren’t clear on. Sometimes, our partner, children and friends need to just vent or just feel like they are being heard, that they feel validated! I
t’s not always necessary to give your thoughts unless they ask for them.
Ahh, my one of my favorite words!
When you are grateful and express that to your loved ones, it is a WIN-WIN situation for both of you. Your loved one feels appreciated and you are in an amazing place inside where the more you have gratitude your heart opens up to receive even more. You have less of a chance of taking them for granted and vice versa. Another wonderful thing about gratitude is that when you are living in it consistently, fear cannot exist. By not having fear, you are then eliminating stress, because stress comes from fear.
Please comment below how you put the Relate back into your Relationships, thanks!