self love

Valentine’s Day is peering around the corner, but tell tale seeds of this “holiday” began sprouting immediately after the Christmas decorations were removed from their 75% off racks. The requisite hearts and flowers are found sprinkled throughout drugstores, grocery stores, retail outlets, even gas stations.

But what does this day really mean? To YOU?

Perhaps you love to present friends and loved ones, or a significant other, with treats, cards and thoughtful gifts. Or maybe you just ignore it and think February 14th is a Hallmark creation and just don’t care.

Whatever category you fit into, the 14th of February is a good time to look at LOVE.

WE can’t ignore the signs, so why not take some time to reflect. And who better to shower with hearts and flowers than the person you should love the most – YOU!  How to Fall in love with YOU?

I think we have all heard a million times, that you can’t love anyone else until you really, truly love yourself.

That is the ultimate gift we have to give ourselves. And sometimes this is very, very, very difficult to do. We look in the mirror, and instead of seeing our authentic selves, we see flaws. Our nose is crooked, our crow’s feet have turned into ostrich feet, our tummies pooch, our thighs jiggle. These are our perceived flaws, but not what makes us the unique authentic individual that shows up to our friends.

I do take the stand that image is important and what the outside world sees should reflect the inner you. I truly believe that is important. If you take pride in your appearance, you are saying to those with whom you come in contact, “I care about me, and that means that I will care about you.”

I am speaking here in terms of being clean, and pulled together, no matter what your personal style. However, the true you, the one that is only enhanced by clothing, accessories, hair color and nail polish, should shine through no matter what you are wearing. That is the YOU that needs pampering and polishing and should be handled with loving- kindness. If you treat yourself with respect and love, others will treat you the same way. Kind of like the golden rule, only let’s call it the Ruby Rule. View and treat yourself as you wish others to view and treat you.

If you take time for a bit of pampering and self-appreciation you are showing yourself that you truly do care about YOU. That self love is important to you.

I suggest finding one quality about yourself that you think is great. Or put on a garment, necklace, pair of shoes, scarf  – an item that makes you feel fabulous. Then take a look in the mirror and say WOW! I love my long legs or this dress makes me feel elegant, spirited, fanciful, (insert only positive adjectives!). Those shoes ROCK my world, I feel like I can conquer the skies in this scarf while I channel Amelia Earhart.

It is my belief that we absolutely do not take enough time to love ourselves. We are unduly harsh. We would not look at our friends and say ugh, you have such stringy hair, or your booty really needs a good work out. So why on earth would we say that to our self. If indeed the greatest goal and lesson on earth is to love everyone.

Now, in case you are wondering, I have had to do this time and again and it’s all about my hair.

A quick personal story. I was born with uber curly hair, kinky, dry , frizzy strangely blonde hair. It was the bane of my existence as a young child and teenager. At age 9 I had huge poofy pigtails and the cutest boy in 4th grade took it upon himself to put a grasshopper in one of my high piggies. And that grasshopper got stuck in my lovely locks. As I screamed for a teacher, the kids laughed and thought it was the funniest thing ever. Stayed with me until this day. At 16 at a pool party, a big garbage can full of sodas and ice was tipped over and the cute teenage host said, “It’s ok, let’s just turn Kim upside down an use her as a mop”.  Hmmm…..again stayed with me forever.

As I grew into my 20’s, I learned,( sort of), to love my hair. Now, age and hormones coupled with child birth, have since tamed my locks and blowdryers and round brushes work miracles. BUT I can now say I absolutely LOVE my hair. I have worked very hard to dispel the beliefs which were engrained in my psyche at a young age. Loving yourself really does work.


SO BEGIN WITH numero uno.  YOU. Here is a self love exercise.  I know for a fact that if you look in the mirror at least once a day and say something positive to yourself – you will begin to feel the love – that’s how I came to love my beautiful hair. When you feel the love, you can give the love and in turn you can receive the love.

We also need to gift ourselves with treats and presents along with our daily positive words. Weekly or monthly treat yourself to something just for you. It needn’t cost a lot of money. You can take 15 minutes to soak in a tub or take a trip to the library and sit down for 15 minutes to read a magazine. Even meditating is a gift to our selves. I know how difficult it can be to do these things, as I tend to lean toward the hyper side on the activity scale.

It really works to spend time and energy into nourishing you. Purchase a magazine and actually sit down and read it (we all need a little Hollywood banter now and again, so it’s ok, I give you permission to pluck US, or PEOPLE off of the checkout stand). I don’t buy into people’s excuses when they say they don’t have ten minutes to spare.

MAKE the time!

It has been proven that it takes 21 days to change a pattern or behavior. Try loving yourself for 21 days. Put a heart sticker on a calendar or sheet of paper for 21 days each time you give a positive affirmation to YOU!

Keep this up and the love will flow from person to person, continent to continent….it all begins with falling in love with YOU!


P.S. We would love to hear how you create your self love. Leave us a comment below and share with us your thoughts.

9 replies
  1. Elena Forbes
    Elena Forbes says:

    Thanks Kim for the great post. I love your story about your hair. We all have had embarrassing times as an adolescent and wanted to just, “fit in.” Now I work hard to, “just be me.” Life is always a journey.

    • Kim
      Kim says:

      We just HAVE to take time for ourselves or our energies will be depleted and we will have nothing to give those whom we love! Happy pampering.

  2. Beth Goehring
    Beth Goehring says:

    This builds on your recommendation to look in the mirror and say something positive to yourself, Kim. I always smile at myself in the mirror–a genuine smile, the kind you’d want to see on an old friend. I don’t grimace at my crooked teeth or the coffee stain on my blouse or fuss with my hair. I just think, “She looks like a nice person.”

  3. Cheryl Martinez
    Cheryl Martinez says:

    This is a great post. I will share it with my lady for sure. I think every lady needs a bit of time to spoil herself. Because after all when you spoil yourself, then you are taking care of yourself. And then you can better take care of others, and deal with the issues that life has to hand you.


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